I can't tell my parents, "You're wrong! You're not Christ-like at all right now! You don't Love God!"
All I can do is pray and set a good example.
Sometimes I feel afraid of speaking to my parents. Sometimes I feel ashamed but God tells us not to be ashamed of Him or He will be ashamed of us. I don't want God to be ashamed of me. That is my only encouragement right now to proclaim my faith to my parents.
Sometimes I feel like I want to get married so that I could get away from this mess, but running away is not Loving my family.
I feel so lost at home, which makes me have a greater desire for God. However, I feel like I can concentrate on God better at 'loo.
I look at my dad and he doesn't look loving. So easily angered. Always complaining. Never thankful. Always putting me down. Always favouritizing.
I look at my mom and she doesn't look loving. Always watching dramas and never turning the television off when she knows her children have to do their homework. Always buying useless stuff. Always making excuses not to go to church.
I look at my sister who is always aroused by "love" stories and relationships.
I look at my brother who is always surrounded by idols. Wii. Penspinning. DS. Chess. (the other day my brother told me he didn't want to go to church)
I look at myself and feel ashamed because I am clueless. I don't know how to get out of this mess. I don't know how to motivate my mother to go back to church. I don't know how to calmdown and lessen my father's temper tantrums. I don't know how to make my sister read books about God's Love and not world "love". I don't know how to make my brother drop all these idols and pick up the Bible. I feel so disconnected from them.
My family didn't do a single thing together today on family day. We didn't even eat together at the dinner table. There was always a person missing.
My family is so sad.
Today is family day. Really?!? Family day? Are you sure it isn't a week from now? or a month from now? or a year from now? or did it already pass? What family day. It doesn't exist in my family.
Prayer: Father, thank You for a family. Thank You for a father and a mother who keep food on the table. Thank You for two siblings who keep me company. Father, I don't know how to Love them but teach me. Give me the Holy Spirit to behave and speak as Christ would infront of them. Provide me with courage and boldness to not be afraid. Make me persevere with faith and without doubt to have hope that they will return to You. I need to have trust in You and You alone.
3 comments:
hmm...thanks for sharing. Like it's really hard to talk to my parents about the gospel, especially since I've known and lived with them for so long, growing up. And I've blamed myself in the past for not being a good enough son, to be able to show God's love to them properly. But I know I shouldn't think that and that God will change them. I need to trust and pray continually... that God is sovereign.
I say rebuke your parents (with love ofc), if there is something that you think needs to be changed spiritually. After all, we are called to keep each other accountable, even if they're your parents. Like, don't think you're not allowed to tell your parents stuff like that.
Ultimately it's not about us trying to change the people around us -- we don't have the power to do that, only the Holy Spirit does. Only the Spirit has life-changing power. Keep persevering in praying for them and loving them and setting that Christ-like example for them, though! I'll be praying for you, sista!
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