AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...Love

I am quite fustrated at myself. I can't seem to put what I have learned into words.

God teach me to hold on to Your words and Your wisdom. Teach me to remember and write.

Today I was watching one of Francis Chan's sermons. I think it is pretty recent? It is called the Purpose of Life. I barely remember what I learned but I believe that it should be the theme of frosh cell's Praise and Prayer Night. What I learned was that we should learn to Adore God more than ask him and worry. Actually...this lesson or words of wisdom has been repeated over and over again infront of my face. I wonder...is this something that I have to improve on? I need to meditate on this more. I need to adore God more. I need to adore Jesus more. I need to adore the Holy Spirit more. I need to acknowledge how POWERFUL He is. I guess sometimes, I don't see how much God Loves me and I don't see how powerful He is. I think I take His Love for granted. I believe my mind set is "I know how much He loves me so I will continue to ask for stuff that he knows I want or need. I know how much He loves me so I don't have to love Him back as much and SEE how POWERFUL and SOVEREIGN He is.

A couple weeks ago, E.Mak shared the gospel with the whole frosh cell. I believe that the Holy Spirit was talking to each one of us through her. I was honestly broken and amazed by the Gospel. Gospel is POWER. The Gospel shows God's Love for us. Gospel = Love = God. OMYYYYYYYYYGOOSHNESS. I think I can just sit here and think for a long time and see how much God loves me right now. I used to think that the Gospel was just Gospel, a story with nothing (or causes no effect) but NO! Gospel is Love (Power) to me now. Can you believe it?!? JESUS DIED FOR US?!? WAHHH!?! It is crazy!? Why would someone so powerful die for me?!? I know people always say this but when you reflect on it yourself, your response would probably be "WTHECK?!?....WOWWWWW"

Read this sentence: Jesus died for you

Don't think that it is a lie. It is truth. Now don't read what I wrote before as a place to bash on Christianity. Think about a God dying for you. Think about mercy. Think about grace. Think about Love. Why would a God die for you? We hurt people everyday (physically, mentally or socially, personally, etc...). Why is it that God doesn't hurt us for hurting others? Why will God let me live instead of shocking me with a lightning bolt? WHYY? Am I not the servant who is unmerciful to my companion? (The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant Matthew 18:21-35) WHY DOES GOD LOVE ME?

Now think..."GOD LOVES" don't think God is a God who counts sins. Think God forgives you for your sin (SINGULAR NOT PLURAL) if you repent to Him (just once, but you must accept and believe that His son is your ONE AND ONLY SAVIOUR). God doesn't ask for anything back. WHY? He doesn't ask us to do good deeds to pay Him back (but we do good deeds because we delight in Him [Psalm 1:2]). WHY? WHY DOES GOD LOVE ME?

I am wretched. I am broken. I am poor. I am weak. I am mean. I am angry. I am moved by the patterns of the world.

WHY GOD DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE AND MOLD ME INTO YOUR SON'S IMAGE?

WHY DO YOU LOVE ME?

Prayer: God I want to Love You as much as You Love me. Although I cannot achieve the standard of Your Love, Lord I pray that you accept me as who I am and Lord this is my offering to you. Take all my shame, take all my guilt, take all my sins, take all my idols, take everything I put before You away that I may truely learn to Love You.

Lord...the challenge I made a month before...it is so difficult T ^ T Lord, guide me!! Lord, lead me OUT and AWAY from temptation. GOD I NEED YOU!!